dry skin shed

for now i have grown,
out-grown, my skin.
it’s itching, my inkling:
t’was armour, knight’s twin.

it restricts my movement
my thought, my feeling
it determines my radius
my territory it limits, gruelling

like a leash it binds me
chokes me if i pull away, but:
away is where i wanna flee!
where i must make a cut!

my armour was of use
at its time, its heyday
t’was survival, cot, even muse
all in one. now it’s payday!

injured life, endured life
life in normality but not mine
life in chastity not for me
guilt as bondage and pain.

guilt to forget myself
guilt to serve the world
guilt to make others laugh
guilt until guilt was gilded

this skin is too small today
there! i feel it cracks, see?
this time not my back, I say!
nor my heart. i break free!

i can drop the garish 80s skinsuit
that shell, it served so well
i will grieve it, mourn it, cry
for its part in my arsenal.

i will shout: no longer!!
can you hold me upright!!
i need no corset to
strap myself up tight!!

do you hear, my husky skin!
you, like a butterfly’s pupa
now dry, so thin, so fine.
you must go. it’s time!

yes i will cry as i say good-bye
that respect i can muster.
but go you must, now!
or i’ll force you out to pasture!

skin, where d’you go?
i do not know. tell me this
where you vanish to.
i get you your ticket, single.

no return! Awaits luck,
joy, chance, pretty chaos.
i burn you off, slough you off,
leave you to rot under open sky

to be re-cycled into
destiny’s undersuits, yes
her petticoats carry allsorts,
drops, hundreds of thousands.

you, skin, will be well there
looked after, re-used for
another youngster’s double-
skin of anxiety to bravery.

so now i am brave! not merely
putting on a brave face
not putting it on anymore!
you are leaving no trace!

i am tidying myself
dusting myself down
ready-steadying myself
putting on my well-earned crown.

life has just gone
a notch brighter.
turn up those myriad switches
on radiance set to mightier!

for i, i am free. until, well,
the next layer hardens, pings!
for we are human, so tell
a husk from your fleshy skins!